And Be a Jukebox Hero...

Following is a list of songs I’d like to see in the next edition of Guitar Hero, compiled as a response to Brian the Lion and DanFish. I make no claims to these being the best songs to put in the game, except where I specifially make such claims. Rather, these are the songs I would personally love to play. There's a slim chance I'll ever play music for a living, so I can only hope that Harmonix will indulge my fantasy world.

1. “Jukebox Hero,” Foreigner

This may be the best possible encore song that was ever recorded. I guarantee that everyone in the immediate vicinity, even those from adjacent apartments, will be over to watch your performance by the time the chorus rolls around. However, this has got to be one of the songs where the original master recordings are used, because whoever covers the songs for the game is bound to completely massacre this song.

2. “Juicebox,” The Strokes

Yes, it’s a blatant Doors rip, but The Doors could never rock this hard, because their guitarist sucked and they didn’t have a bassist. Listening to the lead and bass parts on this tune gives me chills, because I have no idea how one would ever get their fingers around them on anything above a “Medium” difficulty setting.

3. “Chameleon,” Creedence Clearwater Revival

Possibly the least popular of all Creedence tunes, but it would also single-handedly make up for the dearth of country-rock in the first two Guitar Heroes. As much as we all love “Carry On Wayward Son,” it cannot represent all of the fun little tracks which made up the rest of the genre. While this track may be a bit too heavy on the sax for a game which is mostly about guitars, the rhythm line is so damn hard to play that it wouldn’t matter.

4. “Lobster Magnet,” Ben & Garry’s

Bonus song gold. Oh, and there has to be a microphone attachment, because screaming “LOBSTER STICKS TO MAGNET” as loud as you can should gain you a billion extra points.

5. “Summertime Blues,” Eddie Cochran

How has this not been the leadoff track for either of the games yet? Simple enough guitar part, the song is legendary, and it’s structured in such a way that the player could actually improve over the course of it. There’s not much more you could ask for out of a level in Guitar Hero; throw in the fact that Eddie Cochran may have been the original Guitar Hero and you’ve got the perfect track.

6. “Save It for a Rainy Day,” The Jayhawks

You’re saying it’s too soft for the game, and you probably have a point. However, the simple lyric line hides three guitar parts which include too many hairpin turns of phrase to count, and a solo which would beguile even an accomplished Guitar Hero junkie.

7. “Dance to the Bop,” Gene Vincent & The Blue Caps

Quick, fierce, and almost ridiculously hard to play. Gene Vincent may well have invented the mind-bending guitar solo with this song, so it’s sad that the number is all but forgotten today. In fact, the first level on the new Guitar Hero should feature all the guitar hits of the mid-fifties, as they’d be perfect to acclimatize new inductees into the Church of GH. And, after all, wouldn’t it be fitting to pay homage to the people who invented the genre in the first place?

8. “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes,” They Might Be Giants

Same reason as “Lobster Magnet,” except that the player must now shout “CONQUEST!” at inappropriate moments.

9. “Danger! (High Voltage),” Electric Six

Oh, you know you want this as a bonus track. I fully believe that guitar-heavy disco one-hit wonders from five years ago deserve their place in Guitar Hero just as much as any other tune, especially because I can’t wait to hear what the sound-alike vocalists do with Jack White’s insane vocals.

10. “Money for Nothing,” Dire Straits

Nine minutes of pure rock. No ridiculously long two-note speed solos like in “Freebird,” but the song goes through so many tempo changes that it becomes about a trillion times harder. The song was also a rallying cry for the return of rock in the mid-eighties, and the album sold thirty million copies. It’s an important moment in rock history, a damn great song, and a wonder that it has yet to appear in one of the games. Added bonus: Knopfler rerecorded his guitar part for Al Yankovic’s parody, so there’s a good chance that he’d allow the original track to be used in the game.

11. “Van Nuys (Es Very Nice),” Los Abandoned

Another one for the independent bonus tracks. Los Abandoned rocks harder than any group out there right now, and are just beginning their surge into the mainstream. (See my previous entry on the best albums of 2006 for more of my praise of this band.) While lacking any true solos or lead guitar hooks, the rhythm is so scorching and unrelenting that you’re not going to care. At the expert setting, the opening barrage may just be enough to set the player’s hand on fire.

12. “Screaming Skull,” Sonic Youth

C’mon, Harmonix! This one should have been a no-brainer to follow “Who Was in My Room Last Night?” on the last game. The only problem with this track is that the guitar part is so ridiculously out of tune and off-meter that I’d have no clue how to adapt it to the controller. Ah, hell, I’d play it just to see what they do with the sound of the Transporter from Star Trek which takes the place of the lead guitar at the end of the song.

13. “Ball and Biscuit,” The White Stripes

Brian the Lion said it better than I ever could.

14. “ABACAB,” Genesis

Oh, fuck yeah! Possibly the best of the Phil Collins Bombast Mini-Operas, “ABACAB” also dictates the construction in its name, as the A-B-and-C sections of the song repeat as their letters appear in the title. The number may be a bit too synth-heavy, but the guitars that are there are gold. The top and tail consist of grinding solos which could catch even the most seasoned Hero off-guard. Remember how you felt the first time you played “YYZ” on Easy Mode and got your ass kicked? Yeah, take that and double the length. That’s what “ABACAB” would bring to the proceedings, and why it must appear in the new game.

15. “Jesus of Suburbia,” Green Day

Included here in the vain hope that Harmonix sees it fit to put all of American Idiot on as a bonus track. Green Day would often play through the entire album live during their last tour; a full tour through the forty-odd minutes of that ordeal would be the ultimate capper to the Guitar Hero experience.

16. “Supervixen,” Garbage

Is there a better riff to lead off a song then the start-and-stop lead-in to Garbage’s first album? I challenge that there is not.

17. “Theme from NARC,” The Pixies

The Pixies rocked harder than any of their contemporaries, and they never got any more lunatic than on this track. It’s a cover of the theme to the 1980s video game NARC (hence “Theme from NARC”), and it clocks in at under two minutes. Both of these should stop it from being included in the game, but the fact that it’s essentially one long solo, and a badass one at that, all but screams for its induction into the annals of Guitar Hero.

18. “To Hell with Good Intentions,” McLusky

Whoever covers this will get the vocals totally wrong, and it will suck. Too bad, because the song itself is one of the better candidates for Guitar Hero, as it contains three separate guitar tracks, each one more difficult than the preceding. It also has one of the better screaming rockstar lyric lines of recent music, accurately reflecting the hard rocking lifestyle that everyone who plays the game is supposed to be emulating.

19. “Pulling Mussels (from the Shell),” Squeeze

The English New Wave has been sorely underrepresented. While only a decent track for single player, the co-op mode would be wicked, as the entire song is built around the idea of two dueling rhythm guitars.

20. “The View from the Afternoon,” Arctic Monkeys

There’s your recent track for the pile. This number would be great for the second tier, as it appears to be a simple cruncher in the vein of “Woman” or “I Wanna Be Sedated,” but the straightforward melody hides some really wicked stops and starts. I can only imagine how many profanities will be hurled at television screens nationwide when players miss the four-bar break at the bridge for the three-hundred-and-thirty-seventh time.

21. “Busy Lights Busy Carpet,” Q and Not U

Because the idea of seeing the “FAILED 3% Complete” popping up over and over again gives me the happy shakes.

22. “Freak of the Week,” Marvelous 3

Butch Walker writes better pop songs than most carbon-based life forms, and the fact that he’s been reduced to appearing on Rock Star: Supernova makes me sad. Anyway, “Freak of the Week” is the only song of his you’d even remotely recognize. It could fill the “Fat Lip” position as the minor hit from the late 90s, except that “Freak of the Week” is a much better song, and way more fun to play.

23. “Pump It Up,” Elvis Costello & The Attractions

The loudest and arguably most famous song in Elvis’ catalog, this one squeaks in on recognition factor alone. I’d much rather include “From a Whisper to a Scream,” but no one seems to have ever heard of it.

24. “I Can See for Miles,” The Who

No, seriously. Give us some Who next time, or heads will roll.

25. “Letter from an Occupant,” The New Pornographers

Bap-ba-bap-bap-duh-NUH-NUH-NUHNUH-NUH-DUGGGHHHH! Power pop nirvana.

26. “Go Your Own Way,” Fleetwood Mac

There should really be a Party Mode on these games. Y’know, it would include only anthems from the seventies and eighties, those soaring tracks which everyone instinctively knows the words to, so that all of the drunken partygoers could gather around and blurt out the lyrics while the two guitarists go hog-wild. This, of course, is the archetypal song for such a mode.

27. “Picture Book,” The Kinks

Van Halen instead of The Kinks for “You Really Got Me?” Yeah, screw that. Bring The Kinks onto the roster in style by picking something off of Village Green. Added points if the song immediately segues into “Warning” by Green Day, which was the most blatant rip in the history of rock. At least Clapton, Lennon, and Mercury had the good sense to steal from people that their audience had never heard.

28. “Princes of the Universe,” Queen

Speaking of Freddie Mercury, hell yes! This one! Not anything else unless you suddenly decide to get cheeky and include “Flash’s Theme.”

29. “Steam,” Peter Gabriel

I’d ask for “Sledgehammer” or “Red Rain,” but both of those are too far removed from straight guitar-rock. With “Steam” you get Gabriel’s wacked-out sense of what makes a good rock song, and you get three or four good solos.

30. “Three Hundred,” The Stereo

A super-indie band writes one of the greatest pop songs of all the time, and nobody hears it except for a few of my friends at ‘SC. But how perfect would it be to have a song where “C’mon, ROCK OUT” is shouted before the last solo? Yeah, I thought so.

31. “Hold on Loosely,” .38 Special

Okay, so maybe this is king of all country-rock. All of the rocking of “Freebird” but at a third of the length, so your douchebag friend who wants to prove how cool he is can now fail earlier. Plus, the cooler Van Zant brother was in this band, so suck it, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

32. “Real World,” Matchbox 20

Yeah, I know, it’s not called Pussy Adult Contemporary Doily Boring Hero. Truth is, though, that Rob Thomas seems to write ten great pop songs before breakfast each day, and this is about the only one which rocks hard enough to merit inclusion. Sure, we could also include “Smooth” into that mix, but it would be impossible to license.

33. “Alive,” Pearl Jam

We’d be lucky to even get “World Wide Suicide,” I know, but I refuse to think that Avenged Sevenfold could make it in and Vedder could get the shaft. Not the most complicated guitar in their repitoire, but it’s my personal favorite. Besides which, “Yellow Ledbetter” is too slow.

34. “Song 2,” Blur

Another two-minute wonder. Everyone knows this one, and everyone bangs their head along with it. There’s no better reason to include a song than that.

35. “Give a Little Bit,” Supertramp

Copy-paste the Fleetwood Mac reasoning. Don’t you dare use the Goo Goo Dolls version.

36. “Plug in Baby,” Muse

Music elitists could argue up and down about which Muse song defines them the best, and which one is the most coherent musical statement. However, they’re all wrong, as what matters is the rock, and this one rocks harder than all of them. Great opening riff, difficult rhythm part, and all-around great song.

37. “Sell Out,” Reel Big Fish

Why the hell has there been no ska in Guitar Hero yet? I mean, really; it’s an entirely different style of guitar playing, so one would think that some token song would have already been thrown into the mix. Well, this is as good of a place to start.

38. “Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida,” Iron Butterfly

There’s got to be another monster to end the next game. You can’t go to “Freebird” and then have no big piece to end the next game; that’s just a big old cocktease. The only problem is that there aren’t too many songs which are even bigger and more badass than “Freebird.” So you either have to go here or to…

39. “I’ve Seen All Good People/Your Move,” Yes

This monstrosity. And since there’s more mandolin and organ for the first five minutes than guitar, it’s clear that Iron Butterfly is the only sensible choice.

40. “Just What I Needed,” The Cars

It’s my favorite song, it’s one of the most recognized rock songs of all time, and it’s got at least three solo guitar licks. Do you really need a reason to put this in the game? It’s the freakin’ Cars! It’s a shame this has yet to be included, but that can all be reversed with a bitchin’ rendition in Guitar Hero III.

41. “Green Onions,” Booker T and the MGs

Too much organ work in this tune? Yeah, I don’t care. Steve Cropper is a guitar god, and his work has to appear somewhere in this series.

42. “*69,” R.E.M.

This gets to be the R.E.M. contribution for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s got the best guitar work outside of “Radio Free Europe.” Secondly, it’s going to be a struggle for the cover vocalist, and I can’t wait to hear what that sucker interprets the lyrics as. Most of all, though, the rights should be supremely easy to get, as this is one of the songs which was recorded in R.E.M.’s bout with Indie Cred.

43. “Black Dog,” Led Zeppelin

I don’t know what the licensing problems are with the Zep, and I don’t care. The world wants Harmonix to get the Led out. Choose this one or “Whole Lotta Love.”

44. “Bastards of Young,” The Replacements

Even MTV knew not to mess with this song; anything you add onto the Replacements will just interfere with the pure rock. Westerberg has constantly avoided the persona of the “rocker,” but his music speaks otherwise. “Bastards” is one of my favorite rock songs, and it ranks as a milestone on the merits of the music video. It all but demands inclusion.

45. “Black Magic Woman,” Santana

Santana’s longest, and his best. As a guitar craftsman, he is without parallel within his style.

46. “Born to Raise Hell,” Motorhead

“Ace of Spades?” More like Ass of Spades. “Born to Raise Hell” opened Airheads, a film which made Brendan Fraser and Adam Sandler fucking metal. If a song can do that by itself (and I fully believe that it did), then it merits inclusion in Guitar Hero.

47. “Rock & Roll Pt. 2,” Gary Glitter

Who cares if he’s currently doing time in a Vietnamese prison? It’s the most recognized guitar riff of all time. Double points if “Rock & Roll Pt. 1” is included, and I’ll have puppies if “Gary in the TARDIS” makes it in there somehow.

48. “Tighten Up,” Archie Bell & The Drells

Guitar Hero has been ridiculously anglo-centric so far. Yes, I realize that most people’s skewed vision of rock includes mostly Brits and Southerners, but the overall picture is much more complicated. With what could arguably be called the last great first-wave soul number, Archie Bell (and the Drells, from Houston, Texas) demonstrated why a bunch of pasty white boys weren’t the only ones who could lay claim to being guitar gods.

49. “Where Were You?,” Jeff Beck and Terry Bozio

How in the hell would you play a song which is all harmonics within the game engine? I don’t know, but I’d love to find out.

50. “And Your Bird Can Sing,” The Beatles

Last time I heard, the rights to these songs were on the move. Now’s your chance to include the most influential band in the History of Rock in the game about the History of Rock. Make it happen, Harmonix.

Musical Punditry: 2006

This was a damn good year for music, no matter what your particular taste. For the first time in a long time, I’ve had to knock albums off of this list to accommodate the usual size. (Unsurprisingly, Pitchfork and I agree on one.) Without further ado, and in no particular order, I present…

The Top Nine for 2006!

The Sounds, Dying to Say This to You

The Sounds have apparently never heard of the sophomore slump, as their second album flies out of the gate with a vitality that was only vaguely hinted at on their previous disc, Living in America. This is a good-time record to rival The Cars’ Heartbeat City or Elvis Costello’s Get Happy!!, filled with insanely catchy pop hooks and irresistible melodies. The band seems loath to provide their audience with any reason to be sad, as even their ballad, “Night After Night,” is repeated in an upbeat rock version at the end of the album. Dying to Say This to You is just damn good times, and is a must for anyone who is serious about their fun.

Scissor Sisters, Ta-Dah

What can really be said about Scissor Sisters? They defy explanation. Calling them the prodigal children of Elton John isn’t quite right; there are definitely influences in the music, but the band advances what Elton was doing in the mid-seventies to such a degree that the comparison loses merit halfway through the first listen. The comparison to other bands is unavoidable, though, because one of the tracks even carries the too-literal name of “Paul McCartney.” That track is better and more complex than anything its namesake has crafted since Jet, so there’s no easy joke there. Despite the best efforts of rock critics, Scissor Sisters defy convenient namesake pigeonholing. It doesn’t matter; the urge to dance through the whole album is more than enough to banish those who wish to categorize the album.
Wait, what about if Freddie Mercury and Elton John had a baby? Yeah, that sorta works for the sound.

Arctic Monkeys, Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I Am

Yes, they are played out now. No, they were not the second coming like everyone from Rolling Stone to NME told us they were going to be. But Whatever People Say I Am is a hell of a rock record, and that can’t be changed no matter how much hype is attached to it. The Monkeys have a knack for the sort of mini-epics which The Who pioneered; witness “The View from the Afternoon,” which kicks off the album. Four different time signatures and three dominant melodies flash by in four minutes, but it holds together into one experience. Less complex but still impressive, “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor” and “Dancing Shoes” rival any other straight-rock group still recording. As long as bands such as these are keeping the tradition of crunchy guitars alive, there will still be hope for popular music.

"Weird Al" Yankovic, Straight Outta Lynwood

Michael Jackson is an irrelevant joke. Al Yankovic has a top-ten album. What kind of crazy-ass bizarro world are we living in? Don’t ask questions, just go and buy the album. You’ll die laughing.

Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere

Like any good summertime anthem, no one saw it coming. One day we had never heard of it, and then the next it was the world’s favorite song. Such was the fate of this album’s leadoff track, “Crazy,” the sort of wonderful runaway hit which accompanies a sweltering June day in the city. The song felt like a breath of fresh air, as the labels had apparently decided to stop releasing good songs for the summer sometime in 1996. “Crazy” was impossible to get sick of, and was near-impervious to criticism, holding fast to the tenets which had made the Motown sound incredibly popular in the 1960s. Then we heard the album, which inexplicably was even better than the single. Thanks, Danger Mouse, for bringing funk back in a big way.

Los Abandoned, Mixtape

Los Abandoned has never heard of you either! Ever since stumbling upon their performance at a festival two years ago, I’ve been championing them to anyone who would listen. Their style is unique among the rock scene, springing forth with a massive assault that is reminiscent both of the synth-pop of the 1980s and Chicano Rock. The lyric lines are enough to floor any casual listener, as several numbers (including the fantastic “Van Nuys (Es Very Nice)”) are delivered blisteringly-fast in the Angeleno patois, a nasty little trick which guarantees that anyone not from certain areas of Los Angeles will have to listen to the track several times to decipher the intricate lyrics. If the cultural blend was all that this album had in it, it would still be worth recommending. Luckily, Los Abandoned works hard for their rock, guaranteeing that you’ll want to listen over and over again.

Matisyahu, Youth

Mark my words: we will never hear from Matisyahu again. From the beginning he was destined to be a one-hit wonder, as an Orthodox Jew singing reggae can really be nothing else. Too bad, as he has an amazing flow.

Jerry Lee Lewis, Last Man Standing

The Killer teams up with the legends of rock ‘n’ roll to prove once and for all that he’s better than all of them, and also better than you.

Elvis Costello, My Flame Burns Blue

While Rod Stewart, Barry Manilow, and countless other pop stars of the same era descend into irrelevance by recording songs made famous by their parents’ generation, Elvis Costello continues to innovate. This current record finds Costello backed by a full orchestra, gutting and reworking some of his best tunes. “Clubland” and “God Give Me Strength” benefit the most from the change, regaining the vitality which familiarity had drained from them. If this bucking of career trends isn’t enough, Elvis goes even further with the second disc, which contains Il Sogno, a symphonic work based upon A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Thank you, Mr. Costello, for never succumbing to the easy out.

Excuses, Promises, and News from the Front

The real problem I have with this blog is that I feel that it must be wholly independent from the LiveJournal-esque, personal style of blogging. I do not wish it to become a list of things I did, things I saw, and things I like without investigation and explanation. When I present you with something, I want it to be substantial and interesting. The Internet is chock full of sites which will tell you the personal taste of the writer without any reason as to why they liked what they did. Many articles have been started for this blog only to be abandoned, because I didn't think they were worth your time or mine. Further updates will come when an idea springs.

In the meantime, I urge you all to check out The Boy from Out of This World, the blog concerning a new documentary on Teenagers from Outer Space. The director (directress?) behind the project is one of the more driven people I've ever met, and she has a great passion for this project. The film is going to be wonderful, and I suggest you get excited on the ground floor. Oh, and today's entry concerns an interview with Mr. Lloyd Kaufman, one of my Gods of Cinema. So what are you waiting for? Click over!

Socrates Weeps.

Wouldn't it be great if we could quit the Internet?

The World Wide Web has become the friend who is more trouble than they are worth. For all of its advantages, such as immediate music delivery, frequently-inaccurate, peer-vetted encyclopedias, and time-wasting revivals of 1980s arcade hits such as Dig Dug, there are a million reasons to hate it. Most of them arise from the idiots who inhabit the message boards and comment sections of the blogs and news websites. A recent discussion about the "Talkback" section of the famed Ain't It Cool News website yielded the following comment from my brother: "That site is filled with some of the most hateful, contemptuous people who walk this Earth. Its creator chief among them." His rhetoric may have been inflated, but his sentiments were spot-on.

To wit: a recent article reviewing the television program Heroes on the AICN website was immediately followed by nearly fifty comments (and growing) decrying the show for a myriad of reasons, most of which centered around how the characters weren't tailored to exactly the commentator's liking, or how lead actress Hayden Panettiere had not yet reached the age of consent. (What is especially hilarious about this last comment is that, within her home state of New York, Ms. Panettiere has indeed reached the age of consent, but one would not have to be the Amazing Kreskin to realize that one of those who believed they were illegally lusting after her on the AICN talkbacks would have a snowball's chance in hell of courting her in the real world.) Similar comments followed a review of Battlestar Galactica; a daring and inventive season premiere episode was greeted mostly with scorn, and those who dared to speak out in favor were bombarded with homosexual epithets. This has become the dialogue fostered by the "fansites" of the Internet; what is presented as free entertainment for a wide audience is dismissed, and those who enjoy it are greeted with the homophobia that runs rampant through all avenues of the Web.

And one would be foolish to assume that this level of commentary is restricted to the low-culture enclaves of fan websites. Unfortunately, these sentiments are everywhere. I point you, dear reader, to the first article written by our friend Hildy Johnson for the Huffington Post. The article continues the line of biting observational wit she continues to display at AvenueF, and one would figure that an piece the well-written would create a general consensus, one that might read as such: "Good job! Excellent first article! Looking forward to reading more!"

Of fucking course not; don't be stupid. This is the Internet, not civilized society. The comment section following her article has quickly fallen under the jurisdiction of those who cannot spell Vanity Fair, let alone read it. The main contention seems to be the use of the word "pedophile," as many of those hateful bastards who have deemed themselves Master of Internet concluded that Hildy had used the word incorrectly, and therefore had invalidated her entire argument. Funny enough, Ms. Johnson has an education, is rather bright, and speaks English, so she had not misused the word. Once one considers this rather important fact, the comments section disappears into irrelevancy. Despite this, I guarantee that the comments will continue for weeks with variations on the theme known as "I know what the definition of Pedophile is, and you don't." To those who would continue to comment, I say this: Get a job. Own a dictionary.

That's not my place, though. I can't rewrite the rules of the Internet, nor can I stop the millions of insane babies who continue to use it daily. I can't even ignore them, because one can't tell when they're being ignored in a vacuum.

Wouldn't it be great, then, if we could all just quit?

The Tools to Get There.

And two months just like that. Blame the job, huh?

Lately I've taken to writing all of my work on an old Smith-Corona typewriter. Something about the computer's screen makes it nearly impossible to construct a complete sentence, let along anything worth posting or publishing. I'm a fast typist, but a lousy one, so pretty much anything I type on this infernal machine will be missing letters, have the wrong letters places, or will be simply old-fashioned misspelled. But the fact that I would give any copy editor a stroke is worth it for the tactile sensation, for the satisfying THINK that the keys make when they hit the paper. Plus, the typewriter provides some link to my persistent fantasies of the 1940s, fostered by too many viewings of The Maltese Falcon and The Big Combo. Besides, if they made computers which were 1/2 as stylish as these machines, today's modern offices would have at least some level of class. (And, yes, I wrote that previous sentence to try the "one-half" key on the typewriter. I know you can't see it, but how often do you get to use something like that?)

But enough on my methods of expression, at least the ones that you cannot see because I have to retype the entire work into the computer. I pulled out this Smith-Corona in the first place because I had entered a writing rut. After three months of intensive editing, I had drifted away from the inspiration and drive which had led me to start this blog and which informed all of my screenplays. Construction eluded me, and what I did manage to write in the way of dialogue felt awfully faux-bois. I'm not sure to what I can attributed my stymied nature in relation to the computer, but I can probably say with some authority that three months of editing had made me loath to sit in that chair or stare at that screen anymore. A change of venue was in order, even it it was only across the room.

So here we go, dealing with a period key that always stick and with an unfamiliar layout which often causes me to hit three or four letters at a time. I'll conjure images of Steven J. Cannell and Jessica Fletcher for as long as ti takes to get back into the groove of writing. In all honesty, I'm starting to enjoy the SMACK of these letters over the CLICK of my laptop's keys. And while I realize that it will all end up in the computer anyway, I can at least enjoy the process of getting it there.

The retro-blogger. Who would have thought?