All Their Personal Belongings

Did you ever think we’d grow up?

We were going to grow old regardless, just like our teachers and those family members you only saw when you flew to the Midwest at Christmas. Growing up, though, seemed to occupy the realm of the impossible. None of us would live to occupy the stations of adulthood; either the world would end or we would. Stranger things have happened.

Over lunch at the Mayrose today, the conversation turned to Faith Lahane and Eve Harrington, two members of my old high school class who had joined my search for work in Los Angeles. Lahane and I used to swear that we would impair Eve’s career at every turn, do everything we could to stop her from gaining any advancement she didn’t deserve. I’ve met very few human beings less worthy of success. Imagine my surprise, then, when I found out that she had posted a false birthday on the IMDb and passed herself off as an ingénue. She’s a featured player in the next Zooey Deschanel film.

Faith Lahane, meanwhile, has moved into a swank pad in Hollywood and is dating a casting director for one of the majors. I have to ask, but Moll doesn’t even have to hear the whole question. “Yes, a girl. Because, you know, she’s gay.” I already knew, and the second time still doesn’t resonate. “Shouldn’t that make you feel better? I mean, it’s not you, right? It’s just all guys. You shouldn’t have to feel that it’s a personal affront—” I ask if we can stop talking about it. You can say it all you want, but the heart won’t hear it. It’s a stubborn bastard, and I sometimes wish it would quit out.

Things are changing. My life, and apparently my world around me, is in flux. I remember when Faith still wore glasses, when she was eleven and gawky, sporting that crazy puffy hairdo. I knew Eve when she was still just showboating around school, when she once corrected someone’s pronunciation of her name by stating that it “rhymed with beef,” and when I stumbled (regrettably) upon her robbing Gilligan of his virginity. So where am I in this transformation? As usual, I have no idea. I guess I have to realize that I’m not the person who can offer up quick evaluations on my own personality. All I can do is go forward with my current plans and see what happens with it.

I was getting up from the table when Moll finally asked me what the worst part was. “Every one of you coupling up. Even when it’s okay, it still feels like something’s missing.” “Just remember that people love you, James. That’s what matters.” “They’re so far away.”

We’re leaving by side entrance when we spy an old classmate of ours. Outwardly speaking, he hasn’t changed one iota since we were both bored out of our skulls in AP Lit. It turns out that he helps run the place, and that he’s just gotten engaged.

I didn’t think we’d ever grow up.