This country needs a hero. We need a man of action, one who we not only admire but who we truly believe in, through whom anything is possible and everything is attainable. After nearly five years of constant bulletins declaring the global situation dire and unbeatable, America needs a reminder that their lives can be conquered and changed. The symbol of this change will not come from the current; too many Americans are weary and jaded from the myriad crises’ constant media exposure to celebrate anything stemming from them. Besides, no one in America is interested in praising live heroes anymore, only mourning when another candidate falls. Witness the case of Pat Tillman: an ex-NFL player who left his cushy multimillion-dollar job to fight in Afghanistan, he was killed while serving his country. News outlets and pundits alike devoted weeks to crying over the loss of such a brave young man, but suddenly ceased when reports surfaced that Tillman was killed by friendly fire. He had died not a hero’s death, but rather an unfortunate accident; he was more useless to these naysayers as he would have been if he had come home safe and given an honest opinion of the status of the war effort. Audie Murphy would be lost in this society, for all sides of the political spectrum in this country cannot comprehend a heroic individual within the confines of a situation as disparaging and ill-defined as our current one.
The next hero has to rise from fiction. The nation won’t accept them otherwise.
Media efforts of the current day aren’t helping the situation. These heroes are wracked with guilt, torn about their responsibilities, and generally dour people. Twenty million people tune in each week to watch 24’s Jack Bauer defeat terrorists and make the world safe for John & Jane Public, making him one of television’s most popular figures. As amazing a character as Jack Bauer is, he is not the hero we need. Jack is single-minded in his attempts to bring terrorists to justice, ignoring and internalizing nearly everything else in his life. His actions cause the deaths of nearly everyone he holds dear, place him on the FBI’s Most Wanted List, and destroy him both physically and mentally. He keeps us safe, but destroys himself in the process. America’s new hero can do no such thing; we need to know that all of us, including ourselves, will make it past the present day intact, so our hero must also.
The archetype for America’s new hero should be John MacClane, the protagonist of John McTiernan’s 1988 film Die Hard. Trapped in a skyscraper crawling with terrorists, armed with only a service revolver and a cutting sense of irony, MacClane managed not only to foil the terrorist’s evil plans, but also win back his estranged wife, help a police officer rid himself of the ghosts of his past, and undercut every situation with a devilish remark and a smile. John and Jack are analogous beasts, as both are men in desperate situations who will do anything to win. MacClane has something Bauer doesn’t, though: a sense of humor. Where a typical Jack Attack consists of a grimace and a possible defiling of a corpse to set up a diversion, John MacClane made it through three movies (and four video games) by telling terrorists exactly where they could stick it before shoving it there himself. For argument’s sake, let’s just take a look at how these two protagonists react to getting stuck in a heating vent during an escape:
Jack: “Damnit!”
John: “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like!”
While not John’s best quip, you understand the difference between the two styles. Jack fails his audition as America’s needed hero because he’s cold, brutal, and methodical. He’s exactly as depressing as our modern age, and therefore useless in removing our doldrums. The only way to shock the nation out of our current state is to excite all the emotions, to get us laughing, crying, and cheering all at once. We need every nook and cranny of our soul occupied so that we cannot even think about the hero’s ultimate demise. MacClane provided the groundwork, but he’s a hero for a different time. So here’s the message to every artist out there: bring us our conquering hero, and make sure he can tell a joke.
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