The Way to Run a Railroad

Every studio has an identity. Whether they know it or not, every film buff automatically comes with a certain set of expectations when they see a certain corporate logo in front of a movie. This is especially true in the age of imprints, as every one of these mini-studios makes so few pictures a year that each one contributes a much larger percentage of the image than they once did. Out of the hundreds of film studios floating out in the industry these days, every film buff tends to single out two or three as their favorites, and one of mine was Morgan Creek Productions. Now, they didn’t produce any of my favorite movies, and they had more than their share of clunkers handed off to them by the upper management at Warner Bros., but they had something of which most film studios only dream: one hell of an opening. The opening fanfare suggested a company which knew the full history of cinema, one that was open to new ideas, that was willing to take risks, and that was probably run by a man who didn’t suffer fools gladly.

It was a hell of a fanfare.

My impression of the studio, though, was fully confirmed last week when The Smoking Gun obtained a copy of a letter written by James G. Robinson, the current CEO of Morgan Creek. The Creek’s new film is called Georgia Rule, and teams Felicity Huffman and Jane Fonda with professional drug-depository Lindsay Lohan. Apparently, Ms. Lohan has been negligent in her appearances to the set, prompting Mr. Robinson to fire off the aforementioned angry letter. It reads, in part:

“I am now told you don’t plan to come to work tomorrow because you are ‘not feeling well.’ [. . .] We are all well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so called ‘exhaustion.’ We refuse to accept bogus excuses for your behavior. [. . .] You have acted like a spoiled child and in doing so have alienated many of your co-workers and endangered the quality of this picture. Moreover, your actions have resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. We will not tolerate these actions any further.”

Right on! Aside from the fact that he should fire his secretary for having only a tenuous grasp on grammar rules, Mr. Robinson’s letter exemplifies the correct approach to managing a studio. There have been very few indispensable talents in the annals of film history; if you aren’t Hitchcock, Walken, or Astaire, then there is a very good chance that there are many other actors who can fill your shoes just as well. In fact, the replacement has often shown to be a much stronger choice; imagine if we had actually seen Back to the Future starring Eric Stoltz or James Caan in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The point is that no actor has the right to hold up the production of a film with their behavior, as mounting a film is an expensive proposition without the human element clouding the whole thing up. If the film is to come in on time and on budget, then all involved must regard their work as work, and budget their time accordingly. A first-year associate at a white-shoe law firm would be canned if they appeared in as tardy a manner as Ms. Lohan does to her job, and there is no reason why she shouldn’t bear the same consequences.

Now, I don’t have it out for Ms. Lohan specifically. She proved that she had decent comedic chops with Mean Girls, and Robert Altman coaxed a superb performance out of her for A Prarie Home Companion. Still, Lohan is hardly a unique being; I could bring you two dozen actresses I know at both USC and UCLA who are not only more talented, but have significantly lower blood alcohol contents. Now that certain studio bosses have wised up to how they should treat their misbehaving stars, Ms. Lohan should curb her indulgent lifestyle before it gets her completely banned from working in certain corners of the industry. This buisiness is infamous for using people up and spitting them out; it would be a shame to see yet another young star fall victim.